Why Am I Doing This?

My 9 year old son is a puzzle.

My husband and I have 4 kids. A 10 year old boy (BJ), a 9 year old boy (V)(they are 19 months apart), a 3 year old boy (R) and a 1 year old girl (J). For 4 years it seems like all of our energy and love has been poured into a leaky bucket as we have attended to and tried to help our 9 year old son.

4 years ago we had him assessed for ADD/ADHD. The assessment by a Psychologist was inconclusive and no diagnosis was given. Since then we realized she did a poor job. At the same time V started seeing a Psychologist bi-weekly for counseling services. (We asked a friend who works with diagnosing adults with ADD who she recommended for counseling services for kids with ADD and anxiety.) Working with our Pediatrician we started V on the ADHD medicine, Concerta, it was rather obvious he was ADHD.

2 years ago V was officially diagnosed with ADHD by a Neuro-Psychiatrist. We also started seeing a Psychiatrist for his meds as the Pediatrician was running out of options to try for his meds. Nothing seemed to be working.

We still have not found a medicine combination that works.

About 10 months ago I was doing some research on the internet about "kids and speech delay" and I came across Autism information. Then I said to myself, "I remember hearing something about Asperger's, what is that?" and when I searched the web for characteristics of Asperger's I came across this website and thought to myself "that sounds just like V. " I mentioned it to the Psychologist and Psychiatrist that we've been seeing and they both did not think V was Asperger's so I brushed it off.

In the last few months, I have started to ask that question again. "Could V be Asperger's?" And I've mentioned that to a few people most of them have said, "I've wondered that about him?" Which upsets me, cause I'm thinking, "we've been living in H_ _ _ for the last 4 years, I wish someone had been bold and made that suggestion to us." Perhaps they did and it fell on deaf ears at first. But I think it has to be said a ton of times until it finally sets in that "my son could be Aspergers's."

So here we are present day - completely exhausted, worn down, out of patience, stressed out, at our wits end, often attending to problems at school, my health is suffering due to the constant stress. Our other 3 children show signs in many ways that they too are deeply affected. It's overwhelming, where do we go for help, what do we do. WE JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT.

I now have V on a wait list (which is 9 - 11 months long) to be tested for Autism Spectrum Disorder. There are many places we could test in our town, I'm thankful for options but whose the best, its hard to know. Since our initial ADD/ADHD assessment was poorly diagnosed we are hesitant. A couple of highly respected folks and our Psychologist have recommended the place where we are on the wait list. So we wait.

In the meantime, since our Psychologist and Psychiatrist both initially thought that our son is not Aspergers's I have decided to start documenting/blogging as much as I can about V, so that by the time we get to our assessment, we will be able to paint the most clear accurate picture of our son for the Doctor/assessor.

And that is how this blog has developed. V is definitely a puzzle and hard to figure.